Distant Love Affair

I hoped this title would bring you in to read.  Sorry to say, there is nothing dirty going on here!  

Almost 10 years ago is when I posted last.  Partly because I forgot the password and email used to sign in and the other part is, I lost a bit of myself along the way; or, maybe I was always lost but had been blind to it.  I have always said "of course I love me" but then one day I take a step back and see how I treat myself, the light bulb went on and I was shocked.  I wouldn't treat my friends the way I treated myself, so why I am so mean to me?  I struggled a lot to believe I was a good person, smart, funny, worthy, talented and beautiful.  I needed to believe that I am all of those and more.  I needed to find balance.  I was so lost in trying to be the something that everyone else wanted, and in relationships that were unhealthy, that I didn't know who I was.  I wanted to change. 

I began a journey of healing.  A journey of learning about loving myself first, and foremost.  Lessons of gratitude, one of the hardest lessons that I had to learn.  Forgiveness - to myself and to others that hurt me along the way.  If I'm not healthy in body, spirit and mind, I am no good to anyone and will be constantly looking, searching for acceptance and belonging, when really all I needed was to love myself and the happiness will come.  (Yes, harder to do than type that is 100% the truth.).  I'm getting there with the spirit and mind, still have some work to do on the body, but this too will come.  

So the title of Distant Love Affair refers to me.  The love affair I have had with myself.  Going forward I will be writing about this journey.  What I have gone through to get where I am today.  The work I have done for me won't stop.  It's something that has to be ongoing.  It's hard work, but work that I am so happy I did.  I am a priceless investment.  Totally worth it!  Hopefully by me sharing my story, I can inspire and let others know, you aren't alone.

and to maybe complain that it is STILL snowing.